A Tree in the Hurricane

Today I spent four hours driving. Generally, I leave the radio off or only listen to it as long as something is truly worthwhile. Today as I was about to give up on it, I caught a station just as it started the David Crowder song, "How He Loves Us," which has become my new obsession. Watch it here:

David Crowder, "How He Loves Us" Music Video

I tend to be more logical than sentimental or romantic about such things, but this song is for me one those where I feel it echo and resonate in the deepest parts of me, as though the Spirit of God and my spirit are in complete agreement on these truths and their application to my life.

"He is jealous for me. [His] love's like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy..."

"When all of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory..."

What is a tree compared to a hurricane? We are nothing, He is everything, and to be in his presence is so satisfying as to fade out all our afflictions and suffering. Such beautiful truths...we are loved by a great being who is the central foundation for all that is good and holy and marvelous and powerful. He retained his justice while also displaying his mercy by both demanding the payment of and then providing the price for our sin (payment of sin is death, and God the Son paid that price on our behalf), so we continue as loved ones, loved by an undiminished great and holy God, our hurricane.

As the tree, I find that sometimes I am stripped down of the things I loved most, of my prized plans and dreams, or of pleasant life situations and left standing bare in the aftermath. Sometimes I feel uprooted entirely. Regardless, it is always marvelous that the God who acts upon me has also chosen to love me deeply and is so satisfying as to be able to eclipse any affliction. What a marvelous inheritance we have in Christ, and how beautifully this part of it is expressed in the song. There is nothing so challenging, so beautiful, as living in faith in Jesus Christ.

Who Knew? You DO read this blog...

Last month, after I realized that I'm averaging about one post per month, I closed up shop on the blog front. I had exactly one follower (thanks Kate!) and was pretty convinced that no one ever reads this, especially since I import the notes into facebook anyway. Most of the people I know who are interested in observing other people's lives online can be found there, so I shouldn't be surprised if a blog is a bit redundant on top of facebook, right? Right. At least, that's what I thought. However, I have gotten a few questions about where the blog disappeared to, which in turn encouraged me to revive it. I happen to love translating life into words, as it gives me the opportunity to form perspective on the events of the everday; and, I learned that facebook's note format is not nearly as friendly as blogger's. So, the blog returns. I even put a picture on my page :)

(For those reading this through facebook...the blog address is http://TheRogersPost.blogspot.com. I tried to pick something easy to remember.)

Three Cheers for the New Year

I am not one to generally get really hyped up about the New Year, and I can't say that this year was any major exception. I believe 2010 found me on the couch watching Star Trek Voyager with my husband, and it was only happenstance that we didn't crash and head to bed earlier in the evening. So, clearly, no big fuss at the Rogers household :) Although we did completely disregard all traditions about the New Year, we did have some excellent end of the year fun with a few good friends in Chicago on the 30th, when we all stayed in a fabulous hotel and spent the evening walking the Magnificent Mile and eating the best of all pizza- Giordano's. Great times!

While I may not have greeted the dawn of the new year with festivities, I still awoke the next day to find a rather pleasant and accomodating 2010. I have graduated and now set foot in my first year since 1989 when school is not a major part of the agenda, and, we are two-ish months away from meeting the littlest Rogers. Not having school and commutes and homework around which to structure my life, the main activities for me are now 1) start up consulting work, and 2) get ready for the baby. No surprise...the baby is winning.

Over Christmas, my mom and I toured various baby stores in San Antonio and collected ideas for decorating the baby's room; after many years of atrophy from disuse, I decided to flex my artistic muscles (previously used for such accomplishments as school diarama's, clay sphinxes/pyramids, and a southern plantation constructed of sugar cubes- just to give you perspective here). I have started painting a 3ft x 4ft map of the world, decorating the various continents and oceans with associated animals and fish. It has been incredibly great fun; I have taken over the living room with canvas tarps, piles of pictures and atlases from the internet, and now am using the book shelves as a makeshift easel against which I can prop my gigantic canvas (turns out, it doesn't fit on the cheap-o table top easel I bought. I think I should have anticiapted that). I will say, as fun as this is, it is excellent confirmation that I didn't miss my calling by not pursing art. The painting itself is actually sweet, but I must be one of the world's slowest artists. It's a good thing I have a few months!

David is also continuing to flex his DIY muscles with home improvement projects. I think he has reached official DIY-Guy status, as he is now 1) recognized at Home Depot the way some people are recognized at their favorite restaurant, 2) has jeans that are more cement and spackle and paint that fabric, 3) bears a new collection of nicks, scars, and other battle wounds (none serious) as are incurred by those who operate power tools and rip things off walls, and 4) has acquired a new vocabulary, of which I understand little...jigsaws and table saws and tile saws, thinset, spacers... My kitchen looks great and is continuing to improve. Yay for the handy husband!

So for us, 2010 has started pleasantly and holds great promise as a memorable year. Looking ahead, I am tempted to describe "at such and such time, I will do this," but if 2009 taught me anything, it is that though a man determines his steps, it is the Lord who determines his path (Pr 19:21). Just because I think I know what is coming is no indication that I do! (There are all kinds of things I'd like to do - read current event books, audit a refresher Spanish course, travel to see family...but none of these really seem like resolution material, so much as interests.) So my resolution, if you would call it that, is best summed up in these words: "Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few..." Rather than resolving to do something, I hope to pass 2010 in quietness before God, in which I can listen to His voice and appreciate His glory. This seems appropriate to a year that has started so quietly itself and also appropriate in light of last year's epiphany about how I should relate to the future. So, three cheers to the New Year, whatever it may bring, and may it find us all in His good hands.

Here I Lay My Ebenezer

As many of you know, I met David in Matamoros, Mexico, where we worked together as part of a team of eight young Americans with a great family in Mexico in their ministry there. While working alongside him, I noticed that David's Bible's margins were often marked with dates in the margins next to verses or chapters. The Bible is "living and active," according to Hebrews 4:12; when reading through chapters or verses, the Spirit of God may use the words powerfully to alter the pattern of our lives in ways both great and small. In David's case, when he would encounter such experiences, he would write the date in the margin as a reminder and encouragement to himself in the future - in essence, laying an Ebenezer.

Throughout the history of the Christian faith and back into Judaism, there is a tradition of marking out moments where God has worked or made himself known to his people. Probably the most well known is that of the Ebenezer stone. The nation of Israel was approaching battle with the Philistines, a mighty neighboring nation; the Israelites and the prophet Samuel cried out to the LORD, and 1 Samuel 7:10 reads, "...that day the LORD thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them into such a panic that they were routed before the Israelites." In verse 12, to commemorate this moment, "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us."

I find great value in documenting our spiritual history with "Ebenezers," even if they are just dates in the margins and not giant stones. Having been inspired by David's habit, I, too, began marking out key moments, and now I find myself greatly encouraged to be reading along and reminded of God's work in my life through certain passages. For example, when reading in Isaiah, I am reminded that in November 2003 (while in Mexico) God increasingly drew my attention to Isaiah 58, in which He calls His people to meet the needs of some the most vulnerable in society- the hungry, the homeless, the oppressed. Through this and other verses, my path was shaped so that in 2007 I decided to not pursue my previous career plans and instead to divert to social work.

Again, in 2004 when things worked out quickly and beautifully so that David and I could be married in August, I marked Psalm 16:5-6...The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for mein pleasant places; indeed, I have a beatuiful inheritance." Several times the Spirit of God has drawn me to verses like Psalm 4: 4 "Be angry and do not sin" to direct my immediate actions (or point out that the actions I chose were wide of the target, to say the least), or I have marked passages like 1 Corinthians 2:11-16, where I read and understood something new and wonderful. And this past year (and the one before as well, truthfully), I have been deeply attracted to the truths of Proverbs, though it took the full two years- at least- to begin to really grasp the full implications for my life of Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand."

The point of all this? The point is...it's my birthday! While that might not be the obvious conclusion to draw from the paragraphs above, it is why I've written it all. In recent years I have found birthdays, as well as other major occasions, to be perfect opportunities to seek direction from the LORD for the coming year. I love reading what God has done in the past, and something about a birthday causes people, myself included, to become reflective about what has been and possibly considerate of what may become. This week I have hit on a verse that resonated in such a way as to make it inevitable that I'll be returning to it over and over in the coming days, whether it be for the whole of my 26th year or not.

"I therefore...urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph 4:1-3). I like the calling to walk in a worthy manner, as it implies walking with purpose and knowing to what we have been called. The rest of the verse- humility, gentleness, patience... I will just say, it will be a learning year, and very likely, a learning lifetime. In the words of Robert Robinson: "here I lay my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I come." (From the 1758 hymn, Come Thou Fount).

Best Chocolate Chip Cookies, Really.

When I was young, my sisters and I would stand on stools next to my mom and perform such critical chocolate chip cooking baking tasks as sifting the flour (which you may note, is not actually a part of this recipe...) and greasing the cookie sheet. For every classroom birthday (where you get to bring in treats to school on your birthday)...I would bring in oatmeal cookies; usually, I assisted in making these, meaning they came in to school as somewhat lumpy, often smashed, versions of the original. Whenever I returned home from college for any reason...oatmeal cookies were waiting on the counter. And, when I was in Mexico, my mom made these cookies in large quanities, froze them, and sent them down as a taste from home. I have a long, wonderful history with these cookies and intend to eat them forever. I have decided to post this recipe for your eating enjoyment, should anyone else also want to eat them forever.

Since I use so many choc chips, I have cut the sugar significantly...if you are sparse on chips (or substitute with nuts), you may want to compensate with 1/4c more white and brown sugar (each).

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

1/2c veg shortening
1/2c margarine (or butter, if you want a butter flavor)
2 eggs
-mix above ingredients and beat smooth-
2.5 c oats
1/4-1/3 c white sugar
1/4 c brown sugar
1 t vanilla
1t baking soda mixed in 1T hot water
-Mix all well-
1.25c flour
1t salt
-Mix all very briefly-
LOTS of choc chips. Usually one full small bag of semisweet, but just add what looks good to you.
-Mix, and eat dough (beware salmonella and other raw-egg dangers...this is my disclaimer)
- Grease cookie sheet and bake at 350 approx 12 minutes (or at 375 for less time....still turn out well). They should be about to brown, but not browning yet.

Yum! They freeze wonderfully, so make a double batch for twice the eating pleasure.

Choosing My Blessings

I find the nature of human connectedness to be fascinating, which is probably why I went into psychology and then social work. We are created in the image of God who is perpetually in perfect relationship, as God the Father, God the Spirit, and God the Son are one and yet three; the Son does the will of the Father, the Spirit empowers us to conform to the Son...and so on. Besides being in perfect relationship with himself, God has chosen to enter into relationship with such dysfunctional individuals as all of us; we are unfaithful, yet He is faithful. We are changeful and erratic, he is unchanging from before the foundation of the world.

All this seems to indicate that since we are made in the image of a relational God, people are inherently relational, though admittedly some are more skilled in this arena than others. We thrive amidst healthy family and friendship relationships, and we seem to have an incredible resilience for surviving and recovering from poor, dysfunctional relationships. Scientifically, those who are likely to do worst are the children deprived of almost any kind of relationship during the first years of life, which is a pretty strong statement about our relation-ality.

In my own life, I clearly recognize the reality that I'm created for relationships, although I would always prefer a few good friends over many. And, I have lately become grateful for a fact that has long frustrated me in terms of friendships. Inevitably, as I move around, I make and leave friends, meaning that most of my closest friends and family will live states away at any given moment (enhanced by the fact that I seem to befriend or be related to people who are themselves rather transient. It is a great consolation to me that my husband is somewhat obligated to live with me, meaning I usually have my favorite friend nearby).

While distance is terribly inconvenient on a Friday night, I am finding it incredibly reassuring in this stage of life. I know two people in my new town (the two neighbors who seem to spend more time outside their homes than in them), but I don't feel cut off or isolated, as my network of friends is largely maintained by technology, such as the phone and blogs, rather than face-to-face time. As a result, this important contributor to my quality of life - having a few close friends -has become almost completely detached from my geographical location, which has freed me up to hold loosely to the places we land, leaving me happy to arrive and willing to go.

I still find it strange, on occasion, to feel both very unknown locally and yet also well-known (rather than isolated) at the same time, but I have come to view the distance separating me from friends as one of those blessings I would never ask for, but in the end, am happy to receive from a God who clearly cares for me. I would never ask to suffer, yet usually emerge more mature and sympathic to/aware of others' needs; I don't usually ask for hard work, yet I find I can be proud of the outcome after such times.

Similarly, I've never asked the Lord for long-distance friendships, yet I find again that it's a case of me receiving a blessing I would never have had the foresight to request, highlighting again the truth of Isaiah 55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my [the Lord's] ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts..." Thank goodness I don't really run my life, nor choose my blessings.

Settled

Today I realized: we really live here. The boxes are not only unpacked, but we have left behind the nearly constant conversation that begins, "Where is the...?" or "Have you seen...?" or "Where do you keep...?" We know where things live in our house, and somewhere along the way, it began to feel very, very normal that we live here, too. Actually, it is THRILLING to live here, as we have central airconditioning (David's favorite part) and a garbage disposal (my favorite part). Seriously- those are two very unglamorous components to this place, but when you have lived without them, you get it. I am really grateful for God's provision with this place. A month and a half ago I was facing a choice between moving into an apartment that had cigarette butts all over the floor (to disguise the stains, I think) or the one with the stinky carpet, and the Lord straightened it all out in lovely fashion. Praise God!

While I was getting ready for the move, I was completely focused on the move. Right after, I began to really focus on employment after the move...particularly the part where the master's student goes to work at Applebee's or Walmart or some other job that bears exactly zero relationship to all this studying I've been doing. Since that realization, when CareerBuilder turned up exactly two jobs in social work in my area...neither of which I am remotely qualified to do (think executive director), I have started praying for employment that makes the last two years seem worth it. Thankfully, a door seems to be opening there, as well. This fall, I've decided to do contracted work for whatever nonprofits will hire me while I finish my degree. Also, I'm researching, reading, and sharpening my grant-writing skills so that after GRADUATING in December (obviously, that word is very exciting to me), I can hopefully establish myself in some good old-fashioned self-employment as a grant-writer. This is basically research and writing, from home, about social issues and programs, to help people in need. Aka, my dream job. I'm really hoping this works out. Even if it doesn't work out, I have hope in the meantime, which is certainly worth something!

Previous Posts

Previous posts are available in facebook notes. I decided only to re-load those posts from the last few months.