Last night, Gideon displayed his full range of vocal acrobatics - the high staccato shrieks, the impressive display of syllables such as "bababa" and "gagaga"; also, the closed mouth humming that escalates into something louder and more insistant than a hum - maybe a growl? Whatever the case, he was in his full glory, responding to every facial expression, delighting in every elicited response. And we enjoyed him just as much as we did here, when I wrote - shortly after he was born - about how ecstatic we were just to watch him move his head a few inches at a time. Little did we know what great things awaited us.
However, then, just as now, I found that even when I am completely absorbed by how wonderful this little person is, there is still sometimes a bittersweet element for me. You know, some children out there are lonely.
Where does that thought come from, right? Shake it off! Enjoy your family! When I realize that somewhere mixed in with all the wonderful joy is that bit of heaviness, I often feel a bit guilty, like I'm failing to enjoy the really good gifts God the Father has given to me.
Lately, however, I am seeing the experience in a new light - not as something I am generating and then unable to shake off, but as a holy burden, a sign of the Spirit of the Lord at work in me to be making me over, conforming my heart and mind more and more to the likeness of Christ.
"Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
is God in his holy habitation" (Psalm 68:5)
"Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children"(Eph 5:1).
What does it mean to be an imitator of God, but that we begin to love the things he loves, hate the things he hates? And such I think is the case here - while I have had tenderness in my heart for many years for orphans, the Lord does not just think about them kindly, he LOVES them. And he doesn't love his people in a "Oh, I brought you some lovely flowers," kind of way; he loves us in a, "You are completely screwed up, and at the cost of my own life I will bear the burden of your sin and instead give you my righteousness, for eternity" kind of way. Big difference. Thus far, I would say my love has been, sadly, more the flowers type.
So, having been brought to this point where I am now mourning with the many orphans who lack homes, what next? Pray for them. REALLY, really pray for them.
Really? Prayer? What about...putting this social work training to some good use, or maybe feeling the Lord prompt us that this is the moment to start down the adoption road?
Ah, the point of it all. I found, when I gave it a good, hard look, I don't want to be "relegated" to praying. Even though I have witnessed how powerful and effective it can be to be praying in concert with the will of the Lord, my view of prayer has somewhere along the way been transformed into a weak, lifeless thing compared to what prayer REALLY is, how powerful and effective the prayers of the righteous are. This is a serious problem, as my view of prayer turns out to have drifted far, far away from the Biblical view of prayer. Think about this response to Daniel's prayers...or this response to Elijah's prayers. At least, I need to think about them. God is accomplishing his purposes through the prayers of his people! That is no small thing. And while thinking about them, I think I should be praying...
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Sunday, October 24, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Not a Tame Lion
Last night I sat down with David to watch Prince of Egypt. I had never seen it before, and David had the opportunity to pick it up and thought it might be good for Gideon some day long in the future. So, I watched it.
I have heard and heard and heard the story of Moses. I always marvel at the story, but through the same perspectives as I had when I first started hearing it...when I was very young. Wow, the plagues are pretty scary and amazing stuff. Look, he parts the sea! These things are still wonderful, treasured parts of the story. But last night was the first time I have thought about this particular story since having Gideon, and I found I experienced the story in a whole new way. Not only God as the Defender of the enslaved Israelites, but He Who Works All Things According to the Counsel of His Will (Ephesians 1) - a view that left me feeling deeply how much our God is not an easy God, not a "tame lion," (C.S. Lewis).
In the story (the book of Exodus), the Hebrews were enslaved, and "they mutliplied and grew exceedingly strong, so that the land was filled with them." Pharoah feared them if they were to rebel, so he ordered that all the newborn sons should be killed - thrown into the Nile. A Hebrew woman bore a son and was able to hide him in safety for three months. Then, she placed him in a basket and sent him down the Nile, a desperate attempt to spare him from being drowned there by Pharoah's men. The story goes on, but that is where I stayed.
The story is painful enough in hindsight, even knowing how the story will end. But to live the reality of it - many, many families lost their newborn sons to the Nile. There was no basket for them, no Pharoah's daughter - just the loss of a child. And for Moses' mother, we have no indication in the text that she was promised by God that Moses would survive. Who knew what would happen to that basket, if he would drown or starve or be otherwise killed? But God was working all things according to the purpose of his will, and he used this situation to bring a Hebrew child into Pharoah's household, to raise up a leader to deliver the Hebrews from slavery, to display his might over all the gods worshipped in Egypt (interesting to note that the plagues often struck at the domain of a given god - the Nile, the crops, etc).
There are many other parts of the story that similarly weigh on me, and all produced an increased awareness that God is at work, and He is good, but He is not easy. He is out to show us that He is mighty and far above all rulers and authorities and power and dominion and to gain the glory which he deserves. What good is it to be happy in this life and miserable for all eternity? (We may not always be happy with our life circumstances, be we are always assured of access to joy in Him that is able to withstand any event or circumstance). It is far better that his greatness should be displayed, even at the cost of suffering for his people, that more may learn to fear the Lord. For, if we do not see Him as great and uncompromisingly just and wrathful against all sin, we may not really believe that we are destined to be objects of his wrath (Eph 2) in the coming days of eternity, unless we have been made righteous in Christ (by trusting in him for the forgiveness of our sins through his death on the cross and resurrection).
But God is working all things according to the purpose of his will - that He might be lifted up and acknowledged for Who he truly is. He worked the evil of Pharoah to his purpose, and He works the suffering in our lives to his purpose. He is a great God, a compassionate One to all who wear Christs' righteousness as a result of having trusted in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins. He is both the giver and the one who takes away, something that is not always easy to understand or experience, but which does not detract from the truth of God as holy, holy, infinitely holy. Praise Him that he offers redemption in Christ, that we might be spared his wrath, and that he is at work in our lives to work all our joys and sufferings according to the purpose of his will.
I have heard and heard and heard the story of Moses. I always marvel at the story, but through the same perspectives as I had when I first started hearing it...when I was very young. Wow, the plagues are pretty scary and amazing stuff. Look, he parts the sea! These things are still wonderful, treasured parts of the story. But last night was the first time I have thought about this particular story since having Gideon, and I found I experienced the story in a whole new way. Not only God as the Defender of the enslaved Israelites, but He Who Works All Things According to the Counsel of His Will (Ephesians 1) - a view that left me feeling deeply how much our God is not an easy God, not a "tame lion," (C.S. Lewis).
In the story (the book of Exodus), the Hebrews were enslaved, and "they mutliplied and grew exceedingly strong, so that the land was filled with them." Pharoah feared them if they were to rebel, so he ordered that all the newborn sons should be killed - thrown into the Nile. A Hebrew woman bore a son and was able to hide him in safety for three months. Then, she placed him in a basket and sent him down the Nile, a desperate attempt to spare him from being drowned there by Pharoah's men. The story goes on, but that is where I stayed.
The story is painful enough in hindsight, even knowing how the story will end. But to live the reality of it - many, many families lost their newborn sons to the Nile. There was no basket for them, no Pharoah's daughter - just the loss of a child. And for Moses' mother, we have no indication in the text that she was promised by God that Moses would survive. Who knew what would happen to that basket, if he would drown or starve or be otherwise killed? But God was working all things according to the purpose of his will, and he used this situation to bring a Hebrew child into Pharoah's household, to raise up a leader to deliver the Hebrews from slavery, to display his might over all the gods worshipped in Egypt (interesting to note that the plagues often struck at the domain of a given god - the Nile, the crops, etc).
There are many other parts of the story that similarly weigh on me, and all produced an increased awareness that God is at work, and He is good, but He is not easy. He is out to show us that He is mighty and far above all rulers and authorities and power and dominion and to gain the glory which he deserves. What good is it to be happy in this life and miserable for all eternity? (We may not always be happy with our life circumstances, be we are always assured of access to joy in Him that is able to withstand any event or circumstance). It is far better that his greatness should be displayed, even at the cost of suffering for his people, that more may learn to fear the Lord. For, if we do not see Him as great and uncompromisingly just and wrathful against all sin, we may not really believe that we are destined to be objects of his wrath (Eph 2) in the coming days of eternity, unless we have been made righteous in Christ (by trusting in him for the forgiveness of our sins through his death on the cross and resurrection).
But God is working all things according to the purpose of his will - that He might be lifted up and acknowledged for Who he truly is. He worked the evil of Pharoah to his purpose, and He works the suffering in our lives to his purpose. He is a great God, a compassionate One to all who wear Christs' righteousness as a result of having trusted in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins. He is both the giver and the one who takes away, something that is not always easy to understand or experience, but which does not detract from the truth of God as holy, holy, infinitely holy. Praise Him that he offers redemption in Christ, that we might be spared his wrath, and that he is at work in our lives to work all our joys and sufferings according to the purpose of his will.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
A Zoo Experience
Fall is here! I am overjoyed. Usually I savor ever last drop of the warm weather, but this year I find myself looking forward to some crisp weather. I suspect that part of this is due to extra body heat associated with carrying around a small little person. Whatever the cause, bring on the fall crispiness.
While enjoying the lovely weather recently, we took Gideon and some of my visiting family to the local zoo. It's small but sweet, and I was excited to give Gideon the opportunity to see that the animals we read about every day are actually real. It turns out, they must seem REALLY real to him - as common as trees, maybe - because he didn't seem to care, even when he could clearly see the animal. (Seeing the animal only occured when they were big and in motion...it helped when they were brightly colored as well. So, most of the time he probably wondered why we were staring at trees or cages). The only animal to get a really excited reaction out of him was the leopard, and I'm pretty sure that is because it was pacing like David does, not because it was a leopard. Gideon gets excited about pacing these days. I was hoping for some reaction to indicate that the zoo was a cool thing to do, but I have been reminded of the truth that the best gifts for babies are the simplest things in life - like walks without animals, in keeping with such other fun simplicities as cardboard boxes. At least I enjoyed the zoo!
While enjoying the lovely weather recently, we took Gideon and some of my visiting family to the local zoo. It's small but sweet, and I was excited to give Gideon the opportunity to see that the animals we read about every day are actually real. It turns out, they must seem REALLY real to him - as common as trees, maybe - because he didn't seem to care, even when he could clearly see the animal. (Seeing the animal only occured when they were big and in motion...it helped when they were brightly colored as well. So, most of the time he probably wondered why we were staring at trees or cages). The only animal to get a really excited reaction out of him was the leopard, and I'm pretty sure that is because it was pacing like David does, not because it was a leopard. Gideon gets excited about pacing these days. I was hoping for some reaction to indicate that the zoo was a cool thing to do, but I have been reminded of the truth that the best gifts for babies are the simplest things in life - like walks without animals, in keeping with such other fun simplicities as cardboard boxes. At least I enjoyed the zoo!
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