Choosing My Blessings

I find the nature of human connectedness to be fascinating, which is probably why I went into psychology and then social work. We are created in the image of God who is perpetually in perfect relationship, as God the Father, God the Spirit, and God the Son are one and yet three; the Son does the will of the Father, the Spirit empowers us to conform to the Son...and so on. Besides being in perfect relationship with himself, God has chosen to enter into relationship with such dysfunctional individuals as all of us; we are unfaithful, yet He is faithful. We are changeful and erratic, he is unchanging from before the foundation of the world.

All this seems to indicate that since we are made in the image of a relational God, people are inherently relational, though admittedly some are more skilled in this arena than others. We thrive amidst healthy family and friendship relationships, and we seem to have an incredible resilience for surviving and recovering from poor, dysfunctional relationships. Scientifically, those who are likely to do worst are the children deprived of almost any kind of relationship during the first years of life, which is a pretty strong statement about our relation-ality.

In my own life, I clearly recognize the reality that I'm created for relationships, although I would always prefer a few good friends over many. And, I have lately become grateful for a fact that has long frustrated me in terms of friendships. Inevitably, as I move around, I make and leave friends, meaning that most of my closest friends and family will live states away at any given moment (enhanced by the fact that I seem to befriend or be related to people who are themselves rather transient. It is a great consolation to me that my husband is somewhat obligated to live with me, meaning I usually have my favorite friend nearby).

While distance is terribly inconvenient on a Friday night, I am finding it incredibly reassuring in this stage of life. I know two people in my new town (the two neighbors who seem to spend more time outside their homes than in them), but I don't feel cut off or isolated, as my network of friends is largely maintained by technology, such as the phone and blogs, rather than face-to-face time. As a result, this important contributor to my quality of life - having a few close friends -has become almost completely detached from my geographical location, which has freed me up to hold loosely to the places we land, leaving me happy to arrive and willing to go.

I still find it strange, on occasion, to feel both very unknown locally and yet also well-known (rather than isolated) at the same time, but I have come to view the distance separating me from friends as one of those blessings I would never ask for, but in the end, am happy to receive from a God who clearly cares for me. I would never ask to suffer, yet usually emerge more mature and sympathic to/aware of others' needs; I don't usually ask for hard work, yet I find I can be proud of the outcome after such times.

Similarly, I've never asked the Lord for long-distance friendships, yet I find again that it's a case of me receiving a blessing I would never have had the foresight to request, highlighting again the truth of Isaiah 55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my [the Lord's] ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts..." Thank goodness I don't really run my life, nor choose my blessings.

Settled

Today I realized: we really live here. The boxes are not only unpacked, but we have left behind the nearly constant conversation that begins, "Where is the...?" or "Have you seen...?" or "Where do you keep...?" We know where things live in our house, and somewhere along the way, it began to feel very, very normal that we live here, too. Actually, it is THRILLING to live here, as we have central airconditioning (David's favorite part) and a garbage disposal (my favorite part). Seriously- those are two very unglamorous components to this place, but when you have lived without them, you get it. I am really grateful for God's provision with this place. A month and a half ago I was facing a choice between moving into an apartment that had cigarette butts all over the floor (to disguise the stains, I think) or the one with the stinky carpet, and the Lord straightened it all out in lovely fashion. Praise God!

While I was getting ready for the move, I was completely focused on the move. Right after, I began to really focus on employment after the move...particularly the part where the master's student goes to work at Applebee's or Walmart or some other job that bears exactly zero relationship to all this studying I've been doing. Since that realization, when CareerBuilder turned up exactly two jobs in social work in my area...neither of which I am remotely qualified to do (think executive director), I have started praying for employment that makes the last two years seem worth it. Thankfully, a door seems to be opening there, as well. This fall, I've decided to do contracted work for whatever nonprofits will hire me while I finish my degree. Also, I'm researching, reading, and sharpening my grant-writing skills so that after GRADUATING in December (obviously, that word is very exciting to me), I can hopefully establish myself in some good old-fashioned self-employment as a grant-writer. This is basically research and writing, from home, about social issues and programs, to help people in need. Aka, my dream job. I'm really hoping this works out. Even if it doesn't work out, I have hope in the meantime, which is certainly worth something!

Previous Posts

Previous posts are available in facebook notes. I decided only to re-load those posts from the last few months.