Lately I have enjoyed some wonderful diversity to my daily activities, spending time doing such things as picking out a fabric for living room curtains (gold on gold striped), looking at baby names, and enjoying the blue-sky days that come along. In the process, I seem to have drained off the remnants of stress from grad school, as I woke this morning to realize that it has been weeks since I've had one of those dreams where I forgot something horribly important and then panicked for the rest of the dream or the one where my car brakes won't work (and I drive an old Toyota...amazing that one hasn't resurfaced, right?). Lovely.
While most of my new activities aren't terribly challenging mental endeavors, they have still been interesting in their own way. For example, I have discovered that people who write baby name books are, categorically, neurotic. Who feels compelled to include names from every country in the world? I mean, Sufi, Safyra, Sidditch, Thor? However, the Social Security Administration provides a list of the top 1000 names from recent years (and 100 years ago, for people wanting old-fashioned names...). 1000 is big enough to include all the commonly used, less commonly used, wierd spelling variants, and downright odd (but not celebrity strange) names you could ever want to consider. It's a great resource and time-saver. How often can you say THAT about a government-run website or organization?
Also, while searching for acceptable kitchen colors, I stumbled across www.hgtv.com which archives the current season of most HGTV shows. Excellent. After trying a sage green, minty green (accidental), white with blue tint (too light), baby blue (oops, darkened it too much...), carribean blue (...and then added too much green), we finally settled on a lovely blue-gray stormy sea color for the kitchen. And, I am happy to report, our marriage survived. I also intend to use their DIY section to attempt to upholster a headboard for our bed...I'll let you know how that goes.
Other websites recently discovered or often enjoyed:
Martha Stewart Recipes
Recipes from Top Chef
House Beautiful Kitchen paint colors, Generally beautiful designs
This Old House Fabric ideas, paint colors, DIY tips
Pottery Barn Such interesting fabrics and useful as a reference for all the different styles of curtains out there...although I probably couldn't make most of them.
Hulu Full episodes of all varieties for the cable-less
Project Runway episodes!
Family Life Today broadcasts
World Vision
Voice of the Martyrs
National Vital Statistics System - database of info and trends relating to births, deaths, marriage, divorce, etc.
Kids Count A website where you can search for information about youth in your state or county...graduation rates, abuse rates, percent in unemployed families, etc. VERY interesting. Run a profile on your county, if nothing else, just to get a sense of what the issues might be there.
Next to do? I think I may struggle along a bit farther on this quilt I've been working on for more than five years (...sigh...) and pull out the Spanish books. I'm getting rusty and it might be time to run a few electrical sparks through the old language neurons and make sure they still work.
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Meaningless?
Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless.
At least, so states the author of Ecclesiastes, one of the most interesting and mysterious books of the Bible. And I confess, I can see from where he's coming when he writes that. We all have days, or when truly unfortunate, weeks or even years where the easiest truth to recognize deep in our bones is the meaninglessness that can pervade anything and everything in daily life.
So why, if this is the central refrain of the book, do I find myself so drawn to Ecclesiastes as not only a mysterious and true book, but one that is strangely comforting? For a long time, the best answer I could come up with is that deep down, we are designed for truth, and we gravitate towards it - long for it- even when it comes less than all dressed up. I liked it because there was truth there, in the same way that I love Psalm 42. "Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have crashed over me." Although I don't know exactly what this passage means, the context and just the verse itself seem to portray same truth that I meditated on in the post "Tree in a Hurricane" a week or two ago...sometimes it is from God's own hand that the waves of life originate, and yet, at the same time that we experience the roar of the waterfalls, we have intimacy with God - something deep about him, something deep in us, connecting. I may not be clear on the exact meaning, but I love the truth there.
Ecclesiastes does much the same thing for me as Psalm 42. It may point out reality in all its nitty gritty, but it affirms the way God is SO MUCH GREATER than me in a really obvious way. We can toil and strive, but it is striving after the wind...unless we find our contentment and pleasure in God. We can make idols out of relationships (great sermon today on this- Ecc 4:4-16) in which we make comparison or envy our motivation for achievement...but it is absurdity, as it is seeking from others the intimacy and contentment that only God can provide. We can do whatever it is we determine to do, but without God, it is meaningless absurdity. Mark, in the New Testament, confirms the truth of this, writing, "What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world, but to forfeit his soul?" Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless...as none of it will save us, none of it will endure.
So then, do I write this to say that I am about to quit all work, abandon life activities, cast aside relationships as meaningless? Very clearly - no. This doesn't seem supported by the author of Ecclesiastes or any other book of the Bible. But, it does seem to suggest that next time I feel submerged in the meaningless, I should refocus on God who is the source of all that is meaningful and from whom derives eternal contentment and joy. Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless...until and unless we have Him who holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty.
At least, so states the author of Ecclesiastes, one of the most interesting and mysterious books of the Bible. And I confess, I can see from where he's coming when he writes that. We all have days, or when truly unfortunate, weeks or even years where the easiest truth to recognize deep in our bones is the meaninglessness that can pervade anything and everything in daily life.
So why, if this is the central refrain of the book, do I find myself so drawn to Ecclesiastes as not only a mysterious and true book, but one that is strangely comforting? For a long time, the best answer I could come up with is that deep down, we are designed for truth, and we gravitate towards it - long for it- even when it comes less than all dressed up. I liked it because there was truth there, in the same way that I love Psalm 42. "Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have crashed over me." Although I don't know exactly what this passage means, the context and just the verse itself seem to portray same truth that I meditated on in the post "Tree in a Hurricane" a week or two ago...sometimes it is from God's own hand that the waves of life originate, and yet, at the same time that we experience the roar of the waterfalls, we have intimacy with God - something deep about him, something deep in us, connecting. I may not be clear on the exact meaning, but I love the truth there.
Ecclesiastes does much the same thing for me as Psalm 42. It may point out reality in all its nitty gritty, but it affirms the way God is SO MUCH GREATER than me in a really obvious way. We can toil and strive, but it is striving after the wind...unless we find our contentment and pleasure in God. We can make idols out of relationships (great sermon today on this- Ecc 4:4-16) in which we make comparison or envy our motivation for achievement...but it is absurdity, as it is seeking from others the intimacy and contentment that only God can provide. We can do whatever it is we determine to do, but without God, it is meaningless absurdity. Mark, in the New Testament, confirms the truth of this, writing, "What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world, but to forfeit his soul?" Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless...as none of it will save us, none of it will endure.
So then, do I write this to say that I am about to quit all work, abandon life activities, cast aside relationships as meaningless? Very clearly - no. This doesn't seem supported by the author of Ecclesiastes or any other book of the Bible. But, it does seem to suggest that next time I feel submerged in the meaningless, I should refocus on God who is the source of all that is meaningful and from whom derives eternal contentment and joy. Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless...until and unless we have Him who holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Peter Pan Revisited
Thinking more about my musical Peter Pan moment last week (see last post), it occurs to me that this experience is a great metaphor for life - and identity - as it often operates. While we SHOULD mature and grow from our youth into greater wisdom and knowledge, sometimes we also let things stick and crust over our perspective so that we no longer see things as simply or joyfully as we did as children. Simply put, we move from Peter Pan to Robin Williams (who, like him or hate him...is obviously NOT as cool as a flying Pan). We may grow in wisdom, but often equally, in cynicism.
Jesus himself praised the qualities of childlikeness, recommending that everyone approach God the Father with the same openess as children bring. Carrying worldly burdens, the grief or frustration of the day, or simply by focusing so intently on "To Dos" that I never stop, I often miss the opportunity to savor the pure blissful experience that is knowing God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit- and being known by him.
This thought is particularly challenging for me, as I just did a study last year based on Richard Foster's book The Celebration of Discipline, in which he clearly emphasizes the importance of simplicity as an intentional way of living. I first heard about the intentional practice of simplicity when I was in highschool, and I have found it completely fascinating ever since, although I have lived it out with varying degrees of success/unsuccess throughout the years.
To briefly recap, simplicity is not necessarily austerity and learning to live without unimportant extras (although we could all use more of this and it certainly enhances one's ability to practice simplicity). Rather, simplicity is a way of living with focus and clarity about what IS important, namely, Jesus Christ. As Carol A. Jenkins writes in her study entitled Practicing the Spiritual Disciplines,
"Simplicity recognizes we are eternal. We are not about the temporal but the eternal and our eyes are on the things above...Therefore, the practice of simplicity is about learning to live in the temporal with an eternal view and lifestyle." Specifically, it is about managing our lives to align with the truth that we are but stewards, not owners.
God gives, God takes away, and no man can accumulate possessions or skills or relationships that can insulate him from future trouble, should God give such trouble into his life. This can be a terrifying truth to those who have not found peace with the concept of God as sovereign, but it can provide even more abundant peace when viewed from the perspective that our responsibility over our lives (and possessions) is limited to what we can reasonably be expected to accomplish. We could term our responsibility as prudence, not prescience: God calls us to live prudently for the future, but I find no evidence that He expects me to plan for the future, as if I could know what such future may hold. That is his domain.
All this to say...I far more often consider the concept of simplicity and stewardship with regards to how I interact with material goods than I do in application to how I interact with experiences and relationships, and so while I may consciously return to a focused state of living on one level, I often let the grit and grime of life stick to my mind and heart and taint my perspective, rather than intentionally smoothing out and stripping away that which crowds out childlike joy.
The apostle Paul writes, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengths me. " (Philippians 4) What a beautiful way to live- content in all moments. This is certainly a worthy goal, although at times, a challenge.
Jesus himself praised the qualities of childlikeness, recommending that everyone approach God the Father with the same openess as children bring. Carrying worldly burdens, the grief or frustration of the day, or simply by focusing so intently on "To Dos" that I never stop, I often miss the opportunity to savor the pure blissful experience that is knowing God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit- and being known by him.
This thought is particularly challenging for me, as I just did a study last year based on Richard Foster's book The Celebration of Discipline, in which he clearly emphasizes the importance of simplicity as an intentional way of living. I first heard about the intentional practice of simplicity when I was in highschool, and I have found it completely fascinating ever since, although I have lived it out with varying degrees of success/unsuccess throughout the years.
To briefly recap, simplicity is not necessarily austerity and learning to live without unimportant extras (although we could all use more of this and it certainly enhances one's ability to practice simplicity). Rather, simplicity is a way of living with focus and clarity about what IS important, namely, Jesus Christ. As Carol A. Jenkins writes in her study entitled Practicing the Spiritual Disciplines,
"Simplicity recognizes we are eternal. We are not about the temporal but the eternal and our eyes are on the things above...Therefore, the practice of simplicity is about learning to live in the temporal with an eternal view and lifestyle." Specifically, it is about managing our lives to align with the truth that we are but stewards, not owners.
God gives, God takes away, and no man can accumulate possessions or skills or relationships that can insulate him from future trouble, should God give such trouble into his life. This can be a terrifying truth to those who have not found peace with the concept of God as sovereign, but it can provide even more abundant peace when viewed from the perspective that our responsibility over our lives (and possessions) is limited to what we can reasonably be expected to accomplish. We could term our responsibility as prudence, not prescience: God calls us to live prudently for the future, but I find no evidence that He expects me to plan for the future, as if I could know what such future may hold. That is his domain.
All this to say...I far more often consider the concept of simplicity and stewardship with regards to how I interact with material goods than I do in application to how I interact with experiences and relationships, and so while I may consciously return to a focused state of living on one level, I often let the grit and grime of life stick to my mind and heart and taint my perspective, rather than intentionally smoothing out and stripping away that which crowds out childlike joy.
The apostle Paul writes, "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengths me. " (Philippians 4) What a beautiful way to live- content in all moments. This is certainly a worthy goal, although at times, a challenge.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
THERE you are, Peter!
Lately I feel like I've been living that scene from Hook, when the small child uses the palms of his hands to stretch Robin Williams' face like a bad facelift - and catches a glimpse of the boy Peter Pan underneath all the wrinkled grownup exterior, at which point he exclaims, "THERE you are, Peter!"
As you know, if you have read my last post, I have been thinking alot about identity. In fact, such thoughts sneak up on me even when I'm not purposefully considering the topic. Yesterday, I sat down to practice the piano for choir practice, and I also went through the stacks of music I used to be able to play to choose a few pieces I would commit to practicing and reviving to their former glory. Choosing my favorite, I began trying to retrieve it from the dark corners of my memory...ignoring the rather unsteady rhythym and the odd loud notes that sprung from fingers out of practice, I just tried to reach for the notes. After an hour or so of peeking at the music each time I got stuck, I was able to hammer out a roughshod version of this lovely impressionistic piece. I am on my way!
For years, "musician" was a significant part of who I perceived myself to be. At age six, I used to play with a neighborhood girl whose mother was blind. Sometimes when I would go over to the house, I would find her mother sitting in the dark at an old upright piano, no music in sight. Occasionally she would stop and play back a section from a tape recorder, on which someone had recorded the song and verbalized the names of the chords or the order of the notes in a particularly sticky passage. And then she would resume playing. She could have been playing Old MacDonald for all I remember, but at the time, it made music seem like a mysterious and beautiful effort to see her playing unseen notes. As a result of those visits, I began a relentless campaign to beg my parents for lessons, in which they graciously accomodated me. 20 years later, I felt that same childish delight in music returning as I plunked out a hackneyed version of my favorites songs. It was its own Peter Pan moment, I suppose.
As you know, if you have read my last post, I have been thinking alot about identity. In fact, such thoughts sneak up on me even when I'm not purposefully considering the topic. Yesterday, I sat down to practice the piano for choir practice, and I also went through the stacks of music I used to be able to play to choose a few pieces I would commit to practicing and reviving to their former glory. Choosing my favorite, I began trying to retrieve it from the dark corners of my memory...ignoring the rather unsteady rhythym and the odd loud notes that sprung from fingers out of practice, I just tried to reach for the notes. After an hour or so of peeking at the music each time I got stuck, I was able to hammer out a roughshod version of this lovely impressionistic piece. I am on my way!
For years, "musician" was a significant part of who I perceived myself to be. At age six, I used to play with a neighborhood girl whose mother was blind. Sometimes when I would go over to the house, I would find her mother sitting in the dark at an old upright piano, no music in sight. Occasionally she would stop and play back a section from a tape recorder, on which someone had recorded the song and verbalized the names of the chords or the order of the notes in a particularly sticky passage. And then she would resume playing. She could have been playing Old MacDonald for all I remember, but at the time, it made music seem like a mysterious and beautiful effort to see her playing unseen notes. As a result of those visits, I began a relentless campaign to beg my parents for lessons, in which they graciously accomodated me. 20 years later, I felt that same childish delight in music returning as I plunked out a hackneyed version of my favorites songs. It was its own Peter Pan moment, I suppose.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I Dreamed of Genie...Sort Of
Lately, due to the pregnant state, I find myself much more well acquainted with 5am than I ever have been previously. As my husband will testify, I don't have the night-owl endurance to see it from the evening side, and I have never really qualified as a morning person, let alone a 5am-er. But all that changes, because apparently, Baby Rogers IS a morning person and loves those dark morning hours. Expending only minimal energy throughout the day, this little one is a marathoner - flipping, kicking, and generally bouncing enthusiastically for an hour or more, usually around 5am. Sometimes I get warm up or encore performances at 2 and 7 as well. So, I have had plenty of time lately to lie in bed and think the thoughts that usually start with the realization that I'm not in Kansas anymore, Toto. I'm awake.
Apparently, all that awake time just isn't enough to process the random going-ons in my head, because I have noticed my dreams getting wierder and weirder, like I've been sampling the field of poppies on the way to Oz. Last night, for example, I dreamed about the baby. Specifically, I dreamed we had a girl...who I then promptly carried around by laying her across my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, just hanging onto a leg to keep her balanced. The baby basically came by stork, as there was just a signing to claim custody from the hospital, no painful labor (Um, yes please?). And, we didn't name her, because we didn't have any names narrowed down. So, take it all with a grain of salt. :) It seemed entertaining, but not exactly a sign from God.
So, here's your chance to weigh in on the Great Baby Debate- boy or girl? From what I can tell, girl is definately the minority opinion. I think only my mother and my father-in-law are feeling the girl vibe, and everyone else in the family has this baby pegged as a boy- my sister Heather and my nephew among the most adamant. David has pretty well staked out neutral, although I think he's hoping for a solid vibe of some sort before the baby arrives...
Apparently, all that awake time just isn't enough to process the random going-ons in my head, because I have noticed my dreams getting wierder and weirder, like I've been sampling the field of poppies on the way to Oz. Last night, for example, I dreamed about the baby. Specifically, I dreamed we had a girl...who I then promptly carried around by laying her across my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, just hanging onto a leg to keep her balanced. The baby basically came by stork, as there was just a signing to claim custody from the hospital, no painful labor (Um, yes please?). And, we didn't name her, because we didn't have any names narrowed down. So, take it all with a grain of salt. :) It seemed entertaining, but not exactly a sign from God.
So, here's your chance to weigh in on the Great Baby Debate- boy or girl? From what I can tell, girl is definately the minority opinion. I think only my mother and my father-in-law are feeling the girl vibe, and everyone else in the family has this baby pegged as a boy- my sister Heather and my nephew among the most adamant. David has pretty well staked out neutral, although I think he's hoping for a solid vibe of some sort before the baby arrives...
Monday, February 1, 2010
The New Me?
Here's the assignment. Take a blank 8 by 11 inch piece of paper: this sheet represents the whole of you. Now, visually represent (circles, dividing lines, squares...) the various roles you occupy and how much of "you" they constitute. For example, if you are daughter, is that 10%, 50%, 80% of your page? Student, wife, athlete, etc... Identify your roles and mark them in. (Overlapping is allowed if the roles are interlinked, like Christian and wife are for me). I did this assignment in undergrad for one of my psychology courses, and while I initially thought it was stupid, I ultimately thought it was interesting to see which roles take precedence/priority in the way I perceive myself. You might enjoy this.
Lately my thoughts have been returning to this assignment, because the roles making up my identity are in transition. Student is out, parent is in. And, I've been wondering what else is out or in...and to what extent. Currently, "social worker" occupies a tiny corner, almost like a footnote. (I qualify to be one, but I am not actively pursuing it at the moment). Musician is expanding, as we finally, FINALLY have a piano again. Artist has made a very brief appearance on the scene with all my attempts to paint children's art...and then I expect it to recede again. Chef extraordinaire (ok, exaggeration) has made a comeback as student has diminished and I have time to anticipate that dinner will come around again tomorrow and maybe I should defrost some meat rather than be surprised at 8 when food doesn't magically materialize. Minimal athlete is getting minimal-er; my somewhat regular but only moderately difficult workouts have devolved into lumbering walks to the end of the street and back. (I know, normal for pregnancy. The question is whether they will ever scale back up again...?)
Of course, parent is the role that brought all this mental meandering on, since it is likely to be a massive shock wave to the other roles; even though I'm excited for this new stage, I admit I'm interested in preserving some other identities that could easily be engulfed along the way unless guarded. Wife, I've noticed, can often be diminished as a result of general exhaustion, as can most roles tied to personal interests but not tied to a money-making endeavor or of direct benefit to other family members. I've started to pay attention to how women around me execute the parent role and how women throughout history have done so and evaluate such approaches for a possible fit... but this is a topic big enough for another post. Suffice it to say, the options are limitless. I find the Roosevelt women particularly fascinating. While they seemed to have adopted a slightly more hands off approach than I would probably go for, partly due to the presence of a nanny/governess, they cultivated a wide variety of outside interests - often community planning or volunteer related. (I recently read a book entitled, "The Roosevelt Women" that was a pretty interesting read).
Overall, it has been an interesting mental exercise to project different versions of my future self; if such thoughts have any influence on my actual choices when the time comes...we'll see. But,the process has been beneficial, regardless. While I have been evaluating the roles of my life, I find I have REALLY been establishing perspective on how I will measure success in my life. It is important to me that whatever I end up doing that David agrees with me that it is worthwhile, and such conversations give us the opportunity to craft a vision of various ways of being and their value, both from earthly and eternal perspectives.
Paul, in the New Testament, tells us that one day everything we have accomplished will be viewed with an eternal lens- and many of the things we valued as gems will be revealed as smoke and ashes with no lasting value. Thankfully, the measuring standard isn't a secret formula. I happen to like the succinct words of Micah 6:8. "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" While broad, it gives us a starting point. Proverbs, on the other hand, clearly identifies specific actions and paths that are wise...valuing family, taking time to both instruct/disciple and discipline children, compassion towards the poor, working to provide for the family's needs...and so on. The entire Bible articulates the values of God, along with suggestions about how one should incorporate them into everyday character and life. So, that's my thought for the day, and hopefully one you will stop to consider along with me. Who are we, and are those roles worth being? No time like the present for a little transitioning...
Lately my thoughts have been returning to this assignment, because the roles making up my identity are in transition. Student is out, parent is in. And, I've been wondering what else is out or in...and to what extent. Currently, "social worker" occupies a tiny corner, almost like a footnote. (I qualify to be one, but I am not actively pursuing it at the moment). Musician is expanding, as we finally, FINALLY have a piano again. Artist has made a very brief appearance on the scene with all my attempts to paint children's art...and then I expect it to recede again. Chef extraordinaire (ok, exaggeration) has made a comeback as student has diminished and I have time to anticipate that dinner will come around again tomorrow and maybe I should defrost some meat rather than be surprised at 8 when food doesn't magically materialize. Minimal athlete is getting minimal-er; my somewhat regular but only moderately difficult workouts have devolved into lumbering walks to the end of the street and back. (I know, normal for pregnancy. The question is whether they will ever scale back up again...?)
Of course, parent is the role that brought all this mental meandering on, since it is likely to be a massive shock wave to the other roles; even though I'm excited for this new stage, I admit I'm interested in preserving some other identities that could easily be engulfed along the way unless guarded. Wife, I've noticed, can often be diminished as a result of general exhaustion, as can most roles tied to personal interests but not tied to a money-making endeavor or of direct benefit to other family members. I've started to pay attention to how women around me execute the parent role and how women throughout history have done so and evaluate such approaches for a possible fit... but this is a topic big enough for another post. Suffice it to say, the options are limitless. I find the Roosevelt women particularly fascinating. While they seemed to have adopted a slightly more hands off approach than I would probably go for, partly due to the presence of a nanny/governess, they cultivated a wide variety of outside interests - often community planning or volunteer related. (I recently read a book entitled, "The Roosevelt Women" that was a pretty interesting read).
Overall, it has been an interesting mental exercise to project different versions of my future self; if such thoughts have any influence on my actual choices when the time comes...we'll see. But,the process has been beneficial, regardless. While I have been evaluating the roles of my life, I find I have REALLY been establishing perspective on how I will measure success in my life. It is important to me that whatever I end up doing that David agrees with me that it is worthwhile, and such conversations give us the opportunity to craft a vision of various ways of being and their value, both from earthly and eternal perspectives.
Paul, in the New Testament, tells us that one day everything we have accomplished will be viewed with an eternal lens- and many of the things we valued as gems will be revealed as smoke and ashes with no lasting value. Thankfully, the measuring standard isn't a secret formula. I happen to like the succinct words of Micah 6:8. "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" While broad, it gives us a starting point. Proverbs, on the other hand, clearly identifies specific actions and paths that are wise...valuing family, taking time to both instruct/disciple and discipline children, compassion towards the poor, working to provide for the family's needs...and so on. The entire Bible articulates the values of God, along with suggestions about how one should incorporate them into everyday character and life. So, that's my thought for the day, and hopefully one you will stop to consider along with me. Who are we, and are those roles worth being? No time like the present for a little transitioning...
Sunday, January 31, 2010
A Tree in the Hurricane
Today I spent four hours driving. Generally, I leave the radio off or only listen to it as long as something is truly worthwhile. Today as I was about to give up on it, I caught a station just as it started the David Crowder song, "How He Loves Us," which has become my new obsession. Watch it here:
David Crowder, "How He Loves Us" Music Video
I tend to be more logical than sentimental or romantic about such things, but this song is for me one those where I feel it echo and resonate in the deepest parts of me, as though the Spirit of God and my spirit are in complete agreement on these truths and their application to my life.
"He is jealous for me. [His] love's like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy..."
"When all of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory..."
What is a tree compared to a hurricane? We are nothing, He is everything, and to be in his presence is so satisfying as to fade out all our afflictions and suffering. Such beautiful truths...we are loved by a great being who is the central foundation for all that is good and holy and marvelous and powerful. He retained his justice while also displaying his mercy by both demanding the payment of and then providing the price for our sin (payment of sin is death, and God the Son paid that price on our behalf), so we continue as loved ones, loved by an undiminished great and holy God, our hurricane.
As the tree, I find that sometimes I am stripped down of the things I loved most, of my prized plans and dreams, or of pleasant life situations and left standing bare in the aftermath. Sometimes I feel uprooted entirely. Regardless, it is always marvelous that the God who acts upon me has also chosen to love me deeply and is so satisfying as to be able to eclipse any affliction. What a marvelous inheritance we have in Christ, and how beautifully this part of it is expressed in the song. There is nothing so challenging, so beautiful, as living in faith in Jesus Christ.
David Crowder, "How He Loves Us" Music Video
I tend to be more logical than sentimental or romantic about such things, but this song is for me one those where I feel it echo and resonate in the deepest parts of me, as though the Spirit of God and my spirit are in complete agreement on these truths and their application to my life.
"He is jealous for me. [His] love's like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy..."
"When all of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory..."
What is a tree compared to a hurricane? We are nothing, He is everything, and to be in his presence is so satisfying as to fade out all our afflictions and suffering. Such beautiful truths...we are loved by a great being who is the central foundation for all that is good and holy and marvelous and powerful. He retained his justice while also displaying his mercy by both demanding the payment of and then providing the price for our sin (payment of sin is death, and God the Son paid that price on our behalf), so we continue as loved ones, loved by an undiminished great and holy God, our hurricane.
As the tree, I find that sometimes I am stripped down of the things I loved most, of my prized plans and dreams, or of pleasant life situations and left standing bare in the aftermath. Sometimes I feel uprooted entirely. Regardless, it is always marvelous that the God who acts upon me has also chosen to love me deeply and is so satisfying as to be able to eclipse any affliction. What a marvelous inheritance we have in Christ, and how beautifully this part of it is expressed in the song. There is nothing so challenging, so beautiful, as living in faith in Jesus Christ.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Who Knew? You DO read this blog...
Last month, after I realized that I'm averaging about one post per month, I closed up shop on the blog front. I had exactly one follower (thanks Kate!) and was pretty convinced that no one ever reads this, especially since I import the notes into facebook anyway. Most of the people I know who are interested in observing other people's lives online can be found there, so I shouldn't be surprised if a blog is a bit redundant on top of facebook, right? Right. At least, that's what I thought. However, I have gotten a few questions about where the blog disappeared to, which in turn encouraged me to revive it. I happen to love translating life into words, as it gives me the opportunity to form perspective on the events of the everday; and, I learned that facebook's note format is not nearly as friendly as blogger's. So, the blog returns. I even put a picture on my page :)
(For those reading this through facebook...the blog address is http://TheRogersPost.blogspot.com. I tried to pick something easy to remember.)
(For those reading this through facebook...the blog address is http://TheRogersPost.blogspot.com. I tried to pick something easy to remember.)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Three Cheers for the New Year
I am not one to generally get really hyped up about the New Year, and I can't say that this year was any major exception. I believe 2010 found me on the couch watching Star Trek Voyager with my husband, and it was only happenstance that we didn't crash and head to bed earlier in the evening. So, clearly, no big fuss at the Rogers household :) Although we did completely disregard all traditions about the New Year, we did have some excellent end of the year fun with a few good friends in Chicago on the 30th, when we all stayed in a fabulous hotel and spent the evening walking the Magnificent Mile and eating the best of all pizza- Giordano's. Great times!
While I may not have greeted the dawn of the new year with festivities, I still awoke the next day to find a rather pleasant and accomodating 2010. I have graduated and now set foot in my first year since 1989 when school is not a major part of the agenda, and, we are two-ish months away from meeting the littlest Rogers. Not having school and commutes and homework around which to structure my life, the main activities for me are now 1) start up consulting work, and 2) get ready for the baby. No surprise...the baby is winning.
Over Christmas, my mom and I toured various baby stores in San Antonio and collected ideas for decorating the baby's room; after many years of atrophy from disuse, I decided to flex my artistic muscles (previously used for such accomplishments as school diarama's, clay sphinxes/pyramids, and a southern plantation constructed of sugar cubes- just to give you perspective here). I have started painting a 3ft x 4ft map of the world, decorating the various continents and oceans with associated animals and fish. It has been incredibly great fun; I have taken over the living room with canvas tarps, piles of pictures and atlases from the internet, and now am using the book shelves as a makeshift easel against which I can prop my gigantic canvas (turns out, it doesn't fit on the cheap-o table top easel I bought. I think I should have anticiapted that). I will say, as fun as this is, it is excellent confirmation that I didn't miss my calling by not pursing art. The painting itself is actually sweet, but I must be one of the world's slowest artists. It's a good thing I have a few months!
David is also continuing to flex his DIY muscles with home improvement projects. I think he has reached official DIY-Guy status, as he is now 1) recognized at Home Depot the way some people are recognized at their favorite restaurant, 2) has jeans that are more cement and spackle and paint that fabric, 3) bears a new collection of nicks, scars, and other battle wounds (none serious) as are incurred by those who operate power tools and rip things off walls, and 4) has acquired a new vocabulary, of which I understand little...jigsaws and table saws and tile saws, thinset, spacers... My kitchen looks great and is continuing to improve. Yay for the handy husband!
So for us, 2010 has started pleasantly and holds great promise as a memorable year. Looking ahead, I am tempted to describe "at such and such time, I will do this," but if 2009 taught me anything, it is that though a man determines his steps, it is the Lord who determines his path (Pr 19:21). Just because I think I know what is coming is no indication that I do! (There are all kinds of things I'd like to do - read current event books, audit a refresher Spanish course, travel to see family...but none of these really seem like resolution material, so much as interests.) So my resolution, if you would call it that, is best summed up in these words: "Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few..." Rather than resolving to do something, I hope to pass 2010 in quietness before God, in which I can listen to His voice and appreciate His glory. This seems appropriate to a year that has started so quietly itself and also appropriate in light of last year's epiphany about how I should relate to the future. So, three cheers to the New Year, whatever it may bring, and may it find us all in His good hands.
While I may not have greeted the dawn of the new year with festivities, I still awoke the next day to find a rather pleasant and accomodating 2010. I have graduated and now set foot in my first year since 1989 when school is not a major part of the agenda, and, we are two-ish months away from meeting the littlest Rogers. Not having school and commutes and homework around which to structure my life, the main activities for me are now 1) start up consulting work, and 2) get ready for the baby. No surprise...the baby is winning.
Over Christmas, my mom and I toured various baby stores in San Antonio and collected ideas for decorating the baby's room; after many years of atrophy from disuse, I decided to flex my artistic muscles (previously used for such accomplishments as school diarama's, clay sphinxes/pyramids, and a southern plantation constructed of sugar cubes- just to give you perspective here). I have started painting a 3ft x 4ft map of the world, decorating the various continents and oceans with associated animals and fish. It has been incredibly great fun; I have taken over the living room with canvas tarps, piles of pictures and atlases from the internet, and now am using the book shelves as a makeshift easel against which I can prop my gigantic canvas (turns out, it doesn't fit on the cheap-o table top easel I bought. I think I should have anticiapted that). I will say, as fun as this is, it is excellent confirmation that I didn't miss my calling by not pursing art. The painting itself is actually sweet, but I must be one of the world's slowest artists. It's a good thing I have a few months!
David is also continuing to flex his DIY muscles with home improvement projects. I think he has reached official DIY-Guy status, as he is now 1) recognized at Home Depot the way some people are recognized at their favorite restaurant, 2) has jeans that are more cement and spackle and paint that fabric, 3) bears a new collection of nicks, scars, and other battle wounds (none serious) as are incurred by those who operate power tools and rip things off walls, and 4) has acquired a new vocabulary, of which I understand little...jigsaws and table saws and tile saws, thinset, spacers... My kitchen looks great and is continuing to improve. Yay for the handy husband!
So for us, 2010 has started pleasantly and holds great promise as a memorable year. Looking ahead, I am tempted to describe "at such and such time, I will do this," but if 2009 taught me anything, it is that though a man determines his steps, it is the Lord who determines his path (Pr 19:21). Just because I think I know what is coming is no indication that I do! (There are all kinds of things I'd like to do - read current event books, audit a refresher Spanish course, travel to see family...but none of these really seem like resolution material, so much as interests.) So my resolution, if you would call it that, is best summed up in these words: "Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few..." Rather than resolving to do something, I hope to pass 2010 in quietness before God, in which I can listen to His voice and appreciate His glory. This seems appropriate to a year that has started so quietly itself and also appropriate in light of last year's epiphany about how I should relate to the future. So, three cheers to the New Year, whatever it may bring, and may it find us all in His good hands.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Here I Lay My Ebenezer
As many of you know, I met David in Matamoros, Mexico, where we worked together as part of a team of eight young Americans with a great family in Mexico in their ministry there. While working alongside him, I noticed that David's Bible's margins were often marked with dates in the margins next to verses or chapters. The Bible is "living and active," according to Hebrews 4:12; when reading through chapters or verses, the Spirit of God may use the words powerfully to alter the pattern of our lives in ways both great and small. In David's case, when he would encounter such experiences, he would write the date in the margin as a reminder and encouragement to himself in the future - in essence, laying an Ebenezer.
Throughout the history of the Christian faith and back into Judaism, there is a tradition of marking out moments where God has worked or made himself known to his people. Probably the most well known is that of the Ebenezer stone. The nation of Israel was approaching battle with the Philistines, a mighty neighboring nation; the Israelites and the prophet Samuel cried out to the LORD, and 1 Samuel 7:10 reads, "...that day the LORD thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them into such a panic that they were routed before the Israelites." In verse 12, to commemorate this moment, "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us."
I find great value in documenting our spiritual history with "Ebenezers," even if they are just dates in the margins and not giant stones. Having been inspired by David's habit, I, too, began marking out key moments, and now I find myself greatly encouraged to be reading along and reminded of God's work in my life through certain passages. For example, when reading in Isaiah, I am reminded that in November 2003 (while in Mexico) God increasingly drew my attention to Isaiah 58, in which He calls His people to meet the needs of some the most vulnerable in society- the hungry, the homeless, the oppressed. Through this and other verses, my path was shaped so that in 2007 I decided to not pursue my previous career plans and instead to divert to social work.
Again, in 2004 when things worked out quickly and beautifully so that David and I could be married in August, I marked Psalm 16:5-6...The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for mein pleasant places; indeed, I have a beatuiful inheritance." Several times the Spirit of God has drawn me to verses like Psalm 4: 4 "Be angry and do not sin" to direct my immediate actions (or point out that the actions I chose were wide of the target, to say the least), or I have marked passages like 1 Corinthians 2:11-16, where I read and understood something new and wonderful. And this past year (and the one before as well, truthfully), I have been deeply attracted to the truths of Proverbs, though it took the full two years- at least- to begin to really grasp the full implications for my life of Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand."
The point of all this? The point is...it's my birthday! While that might not be the obvious conclusion to draw from the paragraphs above, it is why I've written it all. In recent years I have found birthdays, as well as other major occasions, to be perfect opportunities to seek direction from the LORD for the coming year. I love reading what God has done in the past, and something about a birthday causes people, myself included, to become reflective about what has been and possibly considerate of what may become. This week I have hit on a verse that resonated in such a way as to make it inevitable that I'll be returning to it over and over in the coming days, whether it be for the whole of my 26th year or not.
"I therefore...urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph 4:1-3). I like the calling to walk in a worthy manner, as it implies walking with purpose and knowing to what we have been called. The rest of the verse- humility, gentleness, patience... I will just say, it will be a learning year, and very likely, a learning lifetime. In the words of Robert Robinson: "here I lay my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I come." (From the 1758 hymn, Come Thou Fount).
Throughout the history of the Christian faith and back into Judaism, there is a tradition of marking out moments where God has worked or made himself known to his people. Probably the most well known is that of the Ebenezer stone. The nation of Israel was approaching battle with the Philistines, a mighty neighboring nation; the Israelites and the prophet Samuel cried out to the LORD, and 1 Samuel 7:10 reads, "...that day the LORD thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them into such a panic that they were routed before the Israelites." In verse 12, to commemorate this moment, "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us."
I find great value in documenting our spiritual history with "Ebenezers," even if they are just dates in the margins and not giant stones. Having been inspired by David's habit, I, too, began marking out key moments, and now I find myself greatly encouraged to be reading along and reminded of God's work in my life through certain passages. For example, when reading in Isaiah, I am reminded that in November 2003 (while in Mexico) God increasingly drew my attention to Isaiah 58, in which He calls His people to meet the needs of some the most vulnerable in society- the hungry, the homeless, the oppressed. Through this and other verses, my path was shaped so that in 2007 I decided to not pursue my previous career plans and instead to divert to social work.
Again, in 2004 when things worked out quickly and beautifully so that David and I could be married in August, I marked Psalm 16:5-6...The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for mein pleasant places; indeed, I have a beatuiful inheritance." Several times the Spirit of God has drawn me to verses like Psalm 4: 4 "Be angry and do not sin" to direct my immediate actions (or point out that the actions I chose were wide of the target, to say the least), or I have marked passages like 1 Corinthians 2:11-16, where I read and understood something new and wonderful. And this past year (and the one before as well, truthfully), I have been deeply attracted to the truths of Proverbs, though it took the full two years- at least- to begin to really grasp the full implications for my life of Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand."
The point of all this? The point is...it's my birthday! While that might not be the obvious conclusion to draw from the paragraphs above, it is why I've written it all. In recent years I have found birthdays, as well as other major occasions, to be perfect opportunities to seek direction from the LORD for the coming year. I love reading what God has done in the past, and something about a birthday causes people, myself included, to become reflective about what has been and possibly considerate of what may become. This week I have hit on a verse that resonated in such a way as to make it inevitable that I'll be returning to it over and over in the coming days, whether it be for the whole of my 26th year or not.
"I therefore...urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Eph 4:1-3). I like the calling to walk in a worthy manner, as it implies walking with purpose and knowing to what we have been called. The rest of the verse- humility, gentleness, patience... I will just say, it will be a learning year, and very likely, a learning lifetime. In the words of Robert Robinson: "here I lay my Ebenezer, hither by Thy help I come." (From the 1758 hymn, Come Thou Fount).
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