The New Me?

Here's the assignment. Take a blank 8 by 11 inch piece of paper: this sheet represents the whole of you. Now, visually represent (circles, dividing lines, squares...) the various roles you occupy and how much of "you" they constitute. For example, if you are daughter, is that 10%, 50%, 80% of your page? Student, wife, athlete, etc... Identify your roles and mark them in. (Overlapping is allowed if the roles are interlinked, like Christian and wife are for me). I did this assignment in undergrad for one of my psychology courses, and while I initially thought it was stupid, I ultimately thought it was interesting to see which roles take precedence/priority in the way I perceive myself. You might enjoy this.

Lately my thoughts have been returning to this assignment, because the roles making up my identity are in transition. Student is out, parent is in. And, I've been wondering what else is out or in...and to what extent. Currently, "social worker" occupies a tiny corner, almost like a footnote. (I qualify to be one, but I am not actively pursuing it at the moment). Musician is expanding, as we finally, FINALLY have a piano again. Artist has made a very brief appearance on the scene with all my attempts to paint children's art...and then I expect it to recede again. Chef extraordinaire (ok, exaggeration) has made a comeback as student has diminished and I have time to anticipate that dinner will come around again tomorrow and maybe I should defrost some meat rather than be surprised at 8 when food doesn't magically materialize. Minimal athlete is getting minimal-er; my somewhat regular but only moderately difficult workouts have devolved into lumbering walks to the end of the street and back. (I know, normal for pregnancy. The question is whether they will ever scale back up again...?)

Of course, parent is the role that brought all this mental meandering on, since it is likely to be a massive shock wave to the other roles; even though I'm excited for this new stage, I admit I'm interested in preserving some other identities that could easily be engulfed along the way unless guarded. Wife, I've noticed, can often be diminished as a result of general exhaustion, as can most roles tied to personal interests but not tied to a money-making endeavor or of direct benefit to other family members. I've started to pay attention to how women around me execute the parent role and how women throughout history have done so and evaluate such approaches for a possible fit... but this is a topic big enough for another post. Suffice it to say, the options are limitless. I find the Roosevelt women particularly fascinating. While they seemed to have adopted a slightly more hands off approach than I would probably go for, partly due to the presence of a nanny/governess, they cultivated a wide variety of outside interests - often community planning or volunteer related. (I recently read a book entitled, "The Roosevelt Women" that was a pretty interesting read).

Overall, it has been an interesting mental exercise to project different versions of my future self; if such thoughts have any influence on my actual choices when the time comes...we'll see. But,the process has been beneficial, regardless. While I have been evaluating the roles of my life, I find I have REALLY been establishing perspective on how I will measure success in my life. It is important to me that whatever I end up doing that David agrees with me that it is worthwhile, and such conversations give us the opportunity to craft a vision of various ways of being and their value, both from earthly and eternal perspectives.

Paul, in the New Testament, tells us that one day everything we have accomplished will be viewed with an eternal lens- and many of the things we valued as gems will be revealed as smoke and ashes with no lasting value. Thankfully, the measuring standard isn't a secret formula. I happen to like the succinct words of Micah 6:8. "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" While broad, it gives us a starting point. Proverbs, on the other hand, clearly identifies specific actions and paths that are wise...valuing family, taking time to both instruct/disciple and discipline children, compassion towards the poor, working to provide for the family's needs...and so on. The entire Bible articulates the values of God, along with suggestions about how one should incorporate them into everyday character and life. So, that's my thought for the day, and hopefully one you will stop to consider along with me. Who are we, and are those roles worth being? No time like the present for a little transitioning...